white light, white heat, white trash (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} xylodemon) wrote,@ 2006-06-28 05:08:00 |
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| Current mood: |  cracktastical |
| Entry tags: | ballot box |
Crackpoll.
(This may be premature, but since JKR is already carroting, why not?)
Are you in touch with your Inner Eye? Are you in close contact with The Fates? Do you possess The Sight, the ability to part the Veil Between the Worlds, or at the very least, a Magic 8-Ball with a fair amount of accuracy?
If you answered 'yes' to any of the above, gaze into your crystal ball, shuffle your tarot cards, and dive into the lj-cut Unknown...
... and predict the events of Book Seven.
Poll #757817 predictions for book seven
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
01. The title of book seven with be...
Harry Potter and Completely Useless Magical Artefact #429
193 (26.5%)
Harry Potter and the Utterly Random and Thusfar Unmentioned New Character 138 (18.9%)
Harry Potter and the Hilarious Horcrux Hi-Jinx 220 (30.2%)
Harry Potter and the Former Potions Master of Dubious Loyalties 185 (25.4%)
Harry Potter and the Cock that Fucked All of Hogwarts 193 (26.5%)
other 58 (8.0%)
02. Harry will...
be quiet, sullen, and prone to Sirius-esque fits of brooding 323 (44.4%)
be a right prat to anyone on hand, particularly Ron and Hermione 293 (40.3%)
CAPSLOCK ALOT!!11!~! 231 (31.8%)
spend the first chapter plotting the death of the Dursleys 114 (15.7%)
throw his first wobbler somewhere on page 10 344 (47.3%)
other 70 (9.6%)
03. Harry will...
get laid 37 (5.1%)
not get laid 123 (16.9%)
maybe kinda sorta get laid, but we'll never really know 152 (20.9%)
maybe kinda sorta get laid, but the reference will be so vague we'll still be arguing about it when we're pensioners 435 (59.7%)
maybe kinda sorta get laid, but the reference will be so vague we won't really know until JKR confirms it in a TLC interview two months after the book's release 224 (30.7%)
other 18 (2.5%)
04. If Harry finally does get a leg over, it'll be with...
Ginny 432 (59.4%)
Hermione 61 (8.4%)
Luna 127 (17.5%)
Ron 88 (12.1%)
Draco 170 (23.4%)
Snape 93 (12.8%)
Neville 73 (10.0%)
Remus 51 (7.0%)
Fred and/or George 105 (14.4%)
Minerva 36 (5.0%)
Trelawney 33 (4.5%)
Dobby 70 (9.6%)
the Squid 157 (21.6%)
Dumbledore's Ghost 115 (15.8%)
other 52 (7.2%)
05. The Monster in Harry's Chest will ...
never be heard from again 75 (10.3%)
make an appearance every third page 122 (16.8%)
make one brief and painful appearance shortly before Ginny dies 293 (40.2%)
eventually be put down to heartburn or indigestion 136 (18.7%)
break free from the bony prison of Harry's ribcage and single-handedly defeat Voldemort while Harry's having a wank 374 (51.4%)
other 14 (1.9%)
06. Ron will...
shag Hermione 143 (19.6%)
not shag Hermione 81 (11.1%)
maybe kinda sorta shag Hermione, but we'll never really know 154 (21.1%)
maybe kinda sorta shag Hermione, but the reference will be so vague we'll still be arguing about it when we're pensioners 299 (41.0%)
maybe kinda sorta shag Hermione, but the reference will be so vague we won't really know until JKR confirms it in a TLC interview two months after the books release 242 (33.2%)
other 12 (1.6%)
07. Snape is...
guilty 60 (8.2%)
innocent 167 (22.8%)
neither 124 (16.9%)
both 337 (45.9%)
out to save his own arse 453 (61.7%)
going to die 405 (55.2%)
other 24 (3.3%)
08. If we find Snape is, in fact, loyal to the Order, it'll be proven through...
a Veritaserum confession 62 (8.5%)
a pensieve memory 208 (28.4%)
a posthumously discovered letter from Dumbledore 208 (28.4%)
an eye-witness account from a character we've never heard of 196 (26.8%)
a completely gratuitous act of martyrdom 483 (66.0%)
other 40 (5.5%)
09. Remus will...
die 173 (23.6%)
announce his eternal and undying love for Sirius 104 (14.2%)
announce his eternal and undying love for Sirius in a manner vague enough to cause shipwars 414 (56.6%)
dump Tonks for a female in Fenrir's pack 19 (2.6%)
dump Tonks for a male in Fenrir's pack 65 (8.9%)
have a violent and exceedingly cliché, one-on-one confrontation with Fenrir 531 (72.5%)
accidentally shag Harry 167 (22.8%)
other 41 (5.6%)
10. Sirius is...
still dead 287 (39.3%)
waiting patiently for Remus on the Other Side 249 (34.1%)
shagging James senseless on the Other Side 186 (25.4%)
doing well on the Other Side; he's keeping fit, eating right, and has taken up macramé to pass the time 323 (44.2%)
haunting the Shrieking Shack as we speak 76 (10.4%)
due back through the Veil at any moment, just you watch 225 (30.8%)
enjoying his new life as Stubby Boardman 165 (22.6%)
other 19 (2.6%)
11. If Sirius does make an appearance, it'll be done with...
a flashback 208 (28.4%)
a dream-sequence 219 (29.9%)
a haunting 57 (7.8%)
a portrait 169 (23.1%)
a pensieve memory 298 (40.7%)
the one time-turner that miraculously didn't get smashed up at the Ministry in OotP 110 (15.0%)
Harry's trick mirror 243 (33.2%)
Inferi 61 (8.3%)
necromancy 50 (6.8%)
some holy unbelievable deus-ex-machina contrivance of the type that frequents badfic 323 (44.1%)
other 27 (3.7%)
12. The first recognisable Inferi, inserted into the text only to cause Harry mental anguish, will be...
James 80 (11.0%)
Lily 116 (15.9%)
Sirius 88 (12.1%)
Cedric 239 (32.7%)
Dumbledore 130 (17.8%)
someone who hasn't died yet 256 (35.1%)
other 33 (4.5%)
13. Regulus is...
alive 125 (17.1%)
dead 229 (31.2%)
Stubby Boardman 162 (22.1%)
R.A.B 563 (76.8%)
Snape's ex-boyfriend 287 (39.2%)
a complete and utter throw-away reference that fandom has latched onto like a barnacle for no apparent reason 217 (29.6%)
other 19 (2.6%)
14. Rufus Scrimgeour will...
not still be the Minister of Magic at the start of book seven 15 (2.1%)
still be the Minister of Magic at the start of book seven 278 (38.1%)
still be the Minister of Magic at the start of book seven, but be the unfortunate victim of a coup in Chapter 12 352 (48.3%)
thwart Harry with his every action 150 (20.6%)
make a lame, eleventh-hour attempt at winning Harry's support 418 (57.3%)
become Blaise's mums next late husband 231 (31.7%)
other 14 (1.9%)
15. Dumbledore...
is mostly dead 186 (25.4%)
is very dead 313 (42.8%)
will make a menace of himself through his soon-to-be present portrait in the Headmaster's Office 328 (44.9%)
will manage to be a manipulative old coot from beyond the grave 471 (64.4%)
is drinking piña coladas in the Afterlife with Fawkes 290 (39.7%)
will be the driving force behind an misplaced and ill-advised act of heroics on Harry's part 364 (49.8%)
other 13 (1.8%)
16. The next minor character subject to a random change of gender/race/affiliation without notice will be...
Terry Boot 233 (32.3%)
Theodore Nott 125 (17.3%)
Justin Finch-Fletchley 113 (15.7%)
Dean Thomas 63 (8.7%)
Hannah Abbott 92 (12.8%)
Daphne Greengrass 281 (39.0%)
other 56 (7.8%)
17. The first shipwar after the book's release will be...
Harry/Hermione vs Ron/Hermione 98 (13.4%)
Harry/Hermione vs Harry/Ginny 95 (13.0%)
Harry/Hermione vs Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny 376 (51.4%)
Remus/Sirius vs Remus/Tonks 293 (40.1%)
Harry/Draco vs Harry/Snape 171 (23.4%)
Dobby/Winky vs Dobby/Kreacher 159 (21.8%)
other 33 (4.5%)
18. The first shipwar after the book's release will take place...
on livejournal 285 (39.0%)
on Mugglenet 112 (15.3%)
on The Leaky Cauldron 75 (10.3%)
on Fiction Alley 113 (15.5%)
on HP4GU 64 (8.8%)
in the comments to a completely unrelated post in Fandom Wank 226 (30.9%)
in the checkout line at Barnes and Noble 374 (51.2%)
in the comments to this poll, because we like to get a jump start on things 311 (42.5%)
other 26 (3.6%)
19. The first book seven-compliant fanfic will be written...
one week after the book's release 29 (4.0%)
two days after the book's release 45 (6.2%)
one day after the book's release 62 (8.5%)
twelve hours after the book's release 155 (21.2%)
at a fandom breakfast after a midnight release party 214 (29.3%)
during a midnight release party, on the back of a flyer and based wholly on spoilers 458 (62.7%)
other 10 (1.4%)
20. Who is the next of the gang to die?
Harry 83 (11.4%)
Ron 127 (17.4%)
Hermione 48 (6.6%)
Ginny 129 (17.6%)
Neville 147 (20.1%)
Luna 89 (12.2%)
Snape 222 (30.4%)
Minerva 86 (11.8%)
Remus 126 (17.2%)
Voldemort 171 (23.4%)
Scrimgeour 88 (12.0%)
Draco 100 (13.7%)
a nameless Hufflepuff in the back row 309 (42.3%)
a Order member or Auror we've not yet met 309 (42.3%)
other 58 (7.9%)
00. Obligatory
Clearly I need medication. Or failing that, sleep.
